I love catchy titles to blog postings, and I can’t take credit for this one, though I wish I could. I guess I could, but the lovely lady who gave me the title reads my blog. Love ya Jackie!
I am going to Delaware, folks! <insert awkward silence here>
Why the silence? You think Dela-where is boring? Small? Not even a state? (It is a state, FYI.)
I’m going to visit a pal of mine (Jackie, whom I mentioned above) for a few days. Thank God. For real, dude. (No, not calling God a dude.) I need this vacation like a fry needs ketchup. I probably would go nuts if I didn’t have this Friday through next Wednesday off. Like insane.
This will, however, be my first time flying completely solo or sans husband. Luckily, the Paxil should help things go smoothly, otherwise I may make my national TV debut on CNN as that lady who went nuts on a Southwest flight. Or I’ll be that person ordering a cocktail (and using a drink coupon…score!) on my 8:25 am flight to Houston. And again on my 9:40 am flight to Philly. Don’t judge me- I’ll likely order a screwdriver, which has orange juice, which is typically drank in the morning. So there.
Maybe I should take 2 Paxils. Good thing my doctor doesn’t read my blog.
So, back to my vacation. I am easily distracted, as you can see.
Friday after I land in Philadelphia at 2:45ish pm,
since Delaware has no airport but is legally a state Jackie and Brittany will pick me up and we will drive to Delaware where we plan to engage in sheer gluttony and debauchery at Olive Garden. Can you believe Brittany has never been to Olive Garden?! NEVER! I am going to make sure she eats entire basket of breadsticks all by herself. She just better keep her hands off my Olive Garden salad. That stuff is freakin’ delicious and it’s so unhealthy it should be illegal to be called a salad. Def. Don’t believe me? Check out the calories of the dressing. And you KNOW they like put 30 billion tablespoons in that bowl. The croutons aren’t even crunchy because of how much dressing is in there.
Combine that with Italian margaritas,
constipation cheese, pasta, alfredo sauce, another margarita, a few breadsticks, dessert, maybe some wine, and yeah, about enough calories for a week. Good thing Mrs. Jackie has a full agenda for me on my vacation- tax free shopping (hey, any savings=good), donuts (more on this later), lots of walking, baby clothes shopping (for her, not me- promise!), and other fun, girly stuff. However, Saturday is set to be a dream come true for me. Yes, a dream come true.
No, I’m not meeting Britney Spears. Though that’d be cool. Love her!
Can ya guess where I am going to be on Saturday?
I’ll leave you with this as your hint…can you complete it?
Start spreading the news I’m leaving today I want to be a part of it…